The Dance of Democracy- 2009

To,

My imaginary audience (specially Gandhi, Nehru, Patel, Mountbatten et al)

Sorry to keep you'll waiting but it's not like ur there, it's just that "I see dead people" is why i talk to you.

So India finally shifts into election mode after months of speculation. It is a good opportunity for the Congress(I) to throw their weight around and show that they are the biggest party in India. But they can fall flat on their face if they make it their main proposition for the elections, I still remember the BJP being in the same position and failing thanks to the infamous "India Shining" Campaign.

So who should our dear voters go for in those 30 seconds in the polling booth? Some options

Congress(Rahul Gandhi/Some other Muppet)- The Democrats of India and their Psuedo-"Secular" agenda, but behind the scenes they have been playing a very dirty game. Winning the elections by giving insane amounts of reservations in a move to "better" the society by creating equality. Making Rahul Gandhi the face of the congress is not going to help, cuz the govt is going to be run by the Italian Lady anyways, we saw how effecftive Dr. Manmohan singh was under that arrangement. 

BJP(L.K. Advani)- The Indian Republicans and their Hindutva (Hindu nation) agenda which would make us the Hindu version of our effing neighbor. I think the BJP should not be voted for unless they come up with a real good reason as to why people should vote for them. I dont think demolishing a Few holy places on the name of  6000 year old imaginary holy places is an appealing agenda to vote for, Nor is having a Hindu nation. 

BSP/3rd front (Mayawati) - There is no way that India would want Mayawati to be the Next PM, no offence to the so called backward castes. Unless I want her statue next to every Gandhi statue in India or the world. She is an evil lady with the intentions of levelling the playing field for "their" side by rushing the majority's rights. The 3rd front will only be there to chip away at the votes of the Big Two and then be in the situation to play coalition politics when it come to government formation. As far as this being the year for CHANGE aka OBAMA for the minorities, it took the US 231 years to elect a minority leader as President and he is a guy who will do a better job than Bush, Can Mayawati even do a better job than I.K. Gujral(PM for a few months)? is my concern   

RJD(Laloo Yadav) - Democracy is almost never going to kick into top gear in my generation, So why don't we vote for Laloo Yadav, We know what he did with the railways and to top it all he will never let there be a dull moment in the parliament. He should be the guy to represent India because he's funny and smart(every girl's ideal guy- trimming the Bush around the ears would work though) On a serious note he will be a part of the Congress coalition but for me the Ideal Candidate for the PM's Chair.

CPI(M)- The communists with their unprogressive agenda should be thrown into freggin russia or N. Korea to teach them what happens if we blindly follow what Karl Marx said in 1920, they lost all the bargaining power when they challenged the congress on the Nuclear deal. And i think except for their strongholds in the East no once else will be stupid enough to vote for them.

Samajwadi Party(Amar Singh)/the other South Indian parties - These parties are there to be a part of the coalition game, so they play with their very customized region to region petty agendas to garner the votes required to make them even more powerful than the winning party.

The Hurriyat Party(Guy with Black Hat and round glasses) - HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH , i would vote for them to be put on the next train to F***ing Pakistan. 

Me :-)  Yes you all can vote for me and i'll give everyone a big party in the PM's residence, and the opportunity to tell your friends you know the PM, how 'bout that. I think my Imaginary audience would vote for me !!!!

And Btw everyone must be so following Lead India back home, but how many of those so called leaders have actually done something after those hour-long debates on how they will make India a better place ? I think the Middle-Class holds the key, i understand we are fed up of all the bullshit we get from the politicians which never comes to life. But we have to realize as the middle class is no longer a target market for politicians they dont care about our wants anymore. We make up around 55-60% of the population, but the Below poverty line Population of 27% will rule as they all vote and we frankly dont have the time or dignity to stand and the line and make the vote count.

I still think evil agendas like Religion, Reservations, Anti-Reform, Opposition Bashing will be agendas ruling this election too. And Education, Women's Rights, Infrastructure, Unemployment, Human Rights will no even be mentioned, So best of Luck for the next 5 years of hell, whoever wins.

Peace

Critique welcome.